For Jake

I met Jake when I was working in Minnesota at the Monticello Nuclear Plant in the spring of 2011. I hadn’t worked in 4 months. I was pretty desperate to drive 16 hours from home for a job. The day I arrived there was a blizzard. Three months later on the day I left, there was a tornado. But in between I met two people who would become very special and important to me. Gwen’s story will be another time; because today is about Jake. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was rooming with Lee from my home local and he was rooming with a guy I knew from his home local in Oswego. We bumped into each other in the hall. After a few minutes of “What a small world” chat, we decided to play cards and drink in our room since it was bigger. Within minutes, I could see that Jake was intelligent, funny as hell, and just an all around good guy. We had the weekend off and I had decided to go into Minneapolis for a labor rally that was scheduled. Jake jumped at the chance to go, but the other two had other plans. So we met early the next morning. I liked the way he had no problem that I was driving. I also liked that he was considerate enough to bring me coffee. We talked like we had known each other forever. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We were early for the rally which was taking place at the Capitol Building. We wondered inside and somehow joined a tour group that taught us some of the history of this beautiful building. We went out to join the rally, looking to find other UA members. As usual every one of them would look at Jake and start talking to him about the political aspects of the rally. Jake would laugh and point at me. “You should be talking to her. She’s the one who knows what is going on here.” For the rest of the time I knew him, he would always have my back like that. He is one of the most supportive of his union sisters I have ever met. After the rally we stopped at a local restaurant/microbrewery where we had great food and lots of laughs. They let us tour the brewing room with all its very cool stainless piping. One more stop had to be made when we saw the sign for “Aliens”, a theme bar that was divided into adult/child sections. I’m not sure which one we were in, but Jake loved it all, especially the “live” Aliens wandering around. As we finally headed back to our rooms, Jake looked at me and said, “Thank you, I want to play with you every weekend!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Naturally we were put on opposite shifts, but still got together once or twice a week to just talk. I met his parents when they came into town. I really felt like I had acquired another brother, not just union, but family. Over the next few years, I worked with him often. I got to meet his wife. I felt like I already knew her because Jake talked about her all the time. That and his kid’s activities were his favorite subjects of conversation. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today, I learned that he had died in a freak accident on his way to work to support his loved ones. Driving down a dark country road, he ran into two horses that had gotten loose from a local farm. He was pronounced dead at the scene. His life was too short. There was so much more he wanted to do. He loved his wife, his children, his union, and his country. All of us left behind will ache for his smile and his kindness every day.

Loss and retirement

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until; at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone" Gone where? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bare her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that is dying... Death comes in its own time, in its own way. Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My older cousin, Cheri passed away this week. She had struggled for over a year with the pain and knowledge that cancer was going to take her away from those she loved and who loved her. Her sons and siblings; her grandchildren, nieces, nephews and cousins would no longer see her smiling face or hear her happy voice. As I sat in the chapel and listened to that poem by Henry VanDyke, I found myself hoping that when she reaches that other shore she finds a warm welcome, freedom from pain, and love waiting for her in the arms of her parents, grandparents and all the others who have gone before her. This life is but a short stay in the larger adventure that awaits us all. So I will try to be a little kinder to those around me, to say I love you more often to family and friends, to spend more time connecting with people and less time wrapped up in my own little world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the way home from the funeral, I stopped in at the Union Hall. I had not seen it since we moved at the beginning of the year. As usual, my business manager, Greg treated me like a queen; plying me with food, drink and gifts. Despite being busy, with his phone ringing every few minutes, he spent over an hour talking to me about the job and my plans for the future. He seemed disappointed that I wouldn’t be running for Recording Secretary for a third term, but I know he understood. I need to retire while I am still healthy enough to enjoy life. I need to be able to visit family and friends before it is too late. Losing Cheri made me re-focus on what is important to me. I want to see as much of this beautiful world we live in as I can. I want to spend time laughing with and loving my family and friends. So that is my goal~~by next year I will have be able to work less and live more. After all, I need something to write about!

Layoffs

So, we got to talking about layoffs at work the other day. Pipefitters tend to have a very casual attitude about losing a job. Basically it’s-- I was looking for a job when I found this one. There is always work somewhere, so pack your bags! Sometimes layoffs are voluntary with the company announcing they need to let 10 or 50% of the fitters go. It gives those with other work lined up or who just want off the job to gracefully (with layoff slip for unemployment) terminate a job. Other times it is a way to cull the workforce of workers who are missing work, have low productivity, or are travelers and local workers are on the bench. On big jobs you will see this happen almost monthly; layoff workers on Friday and hire that amount the next Monday. If you have really managed to piss off your employer, but not to the point of being fired, there is the dreaded one man layoff. I was on one of those at Sullivan Park in 2000. I was laid off with 4 travelers which is essentially a one man layoff. I had made the mistake of questioning a policy of lead testing by drawing blood. These results were to be given to the contractor, not the individual worker. I was glad they were implementing this program due to the lead paint with which we had been dealing. I disagreed with the reporting process. While I was shocked, as was my general foreman, my BA said there was nothing he could do, but had me working 10 minutes from home the following Monday. The other thing that happens is that to avoid the one man layoff, they lay off your partner as well. Been there, done that, didn’t get the tee shirt. There is also a very well known saying, “Get my money and my partner’s too. In fact, here’s a quarter, mail it. We’re outta here!” You can tell it’s been around awhile by the cost of a stamp. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Too date, I have been laid off 74 times since 1986. Some layoffs really stand out in my mind. The first time was after a three month job building a Wegmans in Corning NY. Being from Pittsford where the grocery chain started meant I felt especially connected to the store. Plus it was my first job. Looking back I realize how lucky I was to have worked with such a great crew and foreman on my first job. When they laid me off, I almost cried, despite the fact that it was Saturday and they were opening the store on Monday! As for voluntary layoffs/quits, I’ve had a few. Once was at a horrible job where I was working on fiberglass at a plant over an hour from home. I had a full body rash for three weeks straight. I was told they were putting on travelers on a job close to home. So I asked for a layoff. When I walked into the BA’s office, he said he couldn’t send me to that job because he already had two guys coming in from out of town. I stood my ground and said you better call one of them back. This is my territory and I am taking that call. I was on that job for over six months and loved every minute of it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When it comes right down to it, 99% of the jobs I do have a definite end date. We work to put ourselves out of a job. Hopefully by the end the contractor has made money, our bank accounts are fuller, and we have a building that a little while before was only a dream in some architect’s mind. Nothing is more satisfying than walking away from a job as one of the last to go. You have seen it from the underground piping to polishing the last sink or turning on the final system. Being laid off before that can be very disappointing and sometimes can really hurt the ego and self-esteem. But hey…I was looking for a job when I found this one. Where we going next?

Spring 2007

Following my usual pattern, by mid February I was suffering from cabin fever and ready to go to work. Nuclear power plants are regulated to do maintenance every 18-24 months. Since many plants have two or more reactors that means every Spring or Fall there is a shutdown that provides work for trades people especially pipefitters, and in my case, valve repair technicians. In 2007, I was sent to Indian Point Nuclear which is located right on the Hudson River about 50 miles north of NYC. I was staying in Highland Falls which is at the south gate of West Point. I found a room with refrigerator and microwave above a deli right on the main street across from the West Point museum. I was working nights, so every morning when I returned home I would see all the cadets out for their morning run. In the afternoon, I would get up around 3 and wander over to the museum and explore. There were 4 floors of military history with dioramas depicting famous battles from Roman to modern times. I don’t think I was ever able to see all of it! The funniest thing that happened on the job was the very first day of meeting my GF, Mark H. He looked at me and said, “I haven’t worked with many females, so if I say something wrong, just know I ‘m not good at being politically correct.” I said, “Well, as long as you don’t mind me telling you to fuck yourself, we’ll be fine.” He laughed and said, “I like you we’re going to be fine.” And we were! As the job was winding down, they asked for volunteers for a Thursday layoff; the rest would be laid off Saturday. I volunteered, explaining that my daughter’s opening night was Friday, so I was going to have to take time off. Mark asked me to stay on anyway. So I drove home Friday morning( 4 hours), slept for 4 hours, saw Pirates of Penzance with the cutest daughter of a modern Major-General ever, slept another 4 hours, then drove back to work Saturday night. As I was showing the pictures of the play to Mark, he laughed and said, “Gee, I totally forgot you were off and paid you anyway.” That is how pipefitters show appreciation, they pay you! He told me he really appreciated my honesty. Some people wouldn’t have volunteered for the layoff, just so they could get in one more Saturday at OT pay.On Saturday night I volunteered to replace an older guy on an exceptionally hot (radiologically speaking) job that they had been unable to do Friday night. He had a hard time using the headset due to his hearing aids. Luckily the job was able to be done by the first team, so I was off the hook. From there, I went to Pilgrim Nuclear in Plymouth, MA. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As always, I miss my kids. I try very hard to call them daily and send letters and care packages. This year I was able to arrange for them to spend their Spring Break with me in Plymouth. I was living with a wonderful woman, Ingrid, in a century old Victorian Mansion right on the ocean. My room had a private bath, a huge walk in closet, skylight and a king size bed. Definitely one of the best housing arrangements I had ever made. Matt S. (a local brother whose first nuke had been Indian Point) also became a housemate, but he worked nights, so I barely saw him. Ingrid and I became friends while I helped her with two parties she threw to thank all her friends for their support during her recent widowhood. I love to cook and meet new people, so it was a perfect combination! The week my girls were there, I took off early one day. We drove down to Provincetown/Cape Cod, had a fabulous seafood dinner, and walked on the beach. It was a little cold, but you’re supposed to be on a beach for Spring Break! We also explored the Plimouth Plantation which was fascinating. The area is full of all kinds of historic and cultural things to do. I still visit whenever I can.

2006 Rollercoaster

2006 was a wild and challenging ride for me. I worked for 7 different contractors, but still for only 26 weeks altogether. I didn’t get a job until near the end of February when I was sent down to Susquehanna Nuclear in Berwick PA. It was only three hours from the house, so I was able to get home on my days off. Some jobs you just keep you mouth closed, show up every day and do as asked. I was put on ISI (in service inspection) again. However, in this plant we weren’t drawing the grid pattern on the pipe. All we had to do was use green scrub pads and mineral water to clean off the piping for the technicians who came behind us with the ultrasound equipment. That finding determined the thickness of the pipe which would tell the engineers if pipes needed replacement. Extremely boring job, but it paid well. After that I was sent back to Hope Creek/Salem Nuclear in NJ. During training I was able to stay with my oldest sister who lived an hour away. Once the 12 hour days started, I found a fleabag hotel that I was able to share with another female pipefitter who was on the opposite shift as me. Like I said, I don’t share my living space! This was one of the worst places I ever stayed. I could see drug/sex deals happening in the parking lot below me. I slept with a chair wedged up against the door and made sure I was always inside before dark. After I left, I was called back for a week shutdown at their sister plant, Oyster Creek, which was even closer to my sister. I’m not sure why I was there since the only thing I did for a week was sweep floors and clean the fab shop. But they paid me very well. On my last day, I stopped at the seafood shop I had passed daily. As a thank you, I bought a lobster dinner for my sister and her husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In May, I started up at a new veterinary research tower at Cornell we called the Mouse House. I was very happy anticipating staying on one job for at least a year. I was working with Jeff B, one of my best friends in the local. The only drawback was that my GF was “The Bitter Fitter”. Here was a guy who had everything going for him, smart and hard working, but nothing made him happy. Somewhere or somehow, there was a target drawn on my back. I could do nothing right. If I was walking on the left side of the corridor behind 6 other guys, I would be reprimanded for it and told I should know enough to walk on the right. Jeff told me the company project manager had taken one look at me and said get that woman off the job. I couldn’t believe in this day and age that was true. All I know is that it was truly a hostile work environment; then it got worse. In mid-June our paychecks bounced. We were paid on Thursday and I had deposited it in my bank on my way to work on Friday. When I arrived everyone was complaining. We finally walked off the job after getting no answers. I was able to retrieve my worthless paycheck from the bank. On Saturday afternoon the BF called and told me if I wasn’t at work Monday I was fired. He then told me he was a good union man. If that is good, then I’m not interested in his type of union. I told him I would work until coffee break, but if the check bounced; I was out of there. At nine, we all piled into the company van, went to the bank where our checks were cashed. Crisis averted. The next payday the Project manager handed us our paychecks and asked us not to cash them until noon. Well, I called the bank who said there wasn’t enough money in the account to cash my paycheck, let alone the other thirty checks that the crew was holding. Someone asked me what the bank said; I answered honestly, but said maybe the Project Manager was going to make a deposit which is why he asked us to wait. Then I went back to work. I was installing a temporary waterline from the back of the building to the front for the masons. At 11:55, I shut off my torch and jumped into the van to go to the bank where our checks all cashed. At 2 PM, BF was chewing my ass; telling me I was fired for causing a work stoppage on the job. Despite me explaining to him I had nothing to do with anyone not working, especially as my partner and I had been balls to the walls all morning, he refused to back down. I called my BA whose idea of backing me up was to send me to a different contractor the next day. While I was glad to have a job, I knew it was short term. I really wanted to stay on that job. Eventually the company was forced to leave after not being able to make payroll. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After another month off I went back to Byron Nuclear with my old buddy Gary W. This time I wasn’t on his crew, but we still hung out together. It was a good job, until one night at midnight, when I came in for lunch. I had a dozen voicemails from my siblings. I knew it couldn’t be good news, so I walked outside to call my youngest brother. My mother had passed away while sleeping in her favorite chair watching TV. She was only 77 and I was her baby girl. I started to walk back inside the break room with my arms wrapped tightly around me. As I have said before, nuke workers are a family. An Ironworker I had become friends with had been watching me and knew I was upset. He asked me if I was okay. I told him no and that my mother had died. He did the best thing possible; he hugged me tight until I stopped shaking. Then he brought me inside, told me to change out of my work clothes while he got my GF. By the time I changed, they had all the paperwork done so that I could leave. I will never forget the kindness shown to me that night. I had been mostly packed since the job was almost over anyway. I sent emails for my BAs/BM and friends and left for home. I took many calls as I drove the twelve hours home, but one really stuck out in my mind. Greg L called (for the second time) to make sure I was okay. I told him my phone was dying as I didn’t have a car charger. Sounding like a big brother, he insisted I stop, eat and charge my phone. Times like that are why I love my union family. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the funeral and reconnecting with family and friends, I rejoined my life. The rest of the year flew by in a whirl. It was a Congressional election year. I was working very hard to get our candidate elected. By then I had joined the Chemung County Democratic Committee and was very active in phone banks, get out the vote and a hundred other duties. Bryan A. called me for a job on Election Day at Anchor Glass. I told him I would go Thursday. It was a shutdown to replace old piping and install filters. It wasn’t hard, but it was filthy and hot. In addition, the GF had never worked with a woman before. His first question to me was what year apprentice I was. I told him I wasn’t just a pretty face. I actually knew what I was doing. By the end of the shutdown, he had come up with a new motto for me after watching me work. “Don’t piss off the Redhead!”

2005 Toshiba Final Tear OUt

At the very beginning of 2005, a very sad thing happened. The head honchos at Toshiba decided to dismantle the factory and send it to a non-union factory in Ohio. Hundreds of employees were laid off with no warning and limited severance packages. Mostly it was blue collar manufacturing people who had few other skills. Many had worked there all their lives as had their families. In addition, Toshiba regularly hired building trades’ members to renovate old or install new systems. The closing was going to have a large impact on the community. Strangely enough, I was hired to do the final tear out of the facility. We were to remove all the piping from the machines back to the main lines. This was to allow them to move the equipment to the new plant. It felt so wrong to tear out piping I had installed just years before. At the Labor Council, we gathered our resources and fought to keep the company alive. When that failed, we asked our elected officials in Albany and Washington for help. We needed training and job placements for the disenfranchised workers. We needed financial help for families until they could find other jobs. Not only was there a recession, but many manufacturing jobs were headed overseas. One night on behalf of the Labor Council, I attended a community meeting with our government representatives to discuss what help was available. I mostly listened to all the sad stories and the platitudes they were receiving from the politicians. Every morning there were 30 or 40 Hispanics leaving from the night shift as I came in to work. Since I spoke a little Spanish, when I asked they told me they were staying at a local fleabag hotel, in three rooms. I stood up at the meeting and asked why they weren’t using their own employees to do the unskilled part of the tear out. One woman responded that she was told she had to have a “card” to do the work. I laughed and said, “I’m not even sure they have green cards”. The company officials never had a reason for not keeping their people working as long as possible. The next morning at work, my foreman Billy F said the company manager wanted to see me. I asked him to stay with me as a witness while the manager chewed me out. The manager swore every one of those workers was legal; I was wrong to make such an accusation. I agreed I had no proof, but if he wanted I would write a letter to the paper apologizing. I think he realized that would make some reporter take notice and declined my offer. By the end of the meeting, we agreed to work on the same side, helping the Toshiba workers get a fair deal and some help along the way. As I was leaving, he said it was frustrating that he could never get through to our Senators. I said, “Really? Because they always get back to me!” I had started as President of the Labor Assembly thinking it was all social gatherings and parades. It was turning into something that filled my life with purpose. I thought we could make a difference and maybe change our little corner of the world.

2005 Labor and Work

In early 2004, I had been elected President of the Chemung Schuyler Labor Assembly. This is an organization that is comprised of over 40 local AFLCIO unions who represent over 10,000 members. I had really started to become active in politics and social causes as they affected working people. In the fall, we hosted our first ever meet the candidates’ night. We invited everyone from Presidential to town board candidates. I’ll be honest I had no idea how crazy it was going to be. At one point I was lying under a stainless tank at the cheese factory installing a valve when my phone rang. It was the President’s office calling to inquire about details. When it was determined that President Bush was unable to attend, they offered to send a letter. I suggested the topic be how much he had done for workers during his term. I never received that letter. In the course of that election, I met Senator Clinton as well as the NYS Governor and other officials. One thing I learned early on is that if you say labor, politicians’ heads swivel around, and they give the appearance of listening. Maybe I was supposed to not work for the past three years so that I could get so involved with the Labor Assembly. By 2005, I had attended many conferences and had learned to speak in public without throwing up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In March, I was once more back to Nine Mile. I was so comfortable there that it almost didn’t feel like traveling. I was able to get home to see the kids and check on the house on my day off. I would have dinner with friends and re-visit old haunts. In May I started with Kimble the company who had laid me off at Sullivan Park and who I thought would never hire me again. As it turned out the foreman Bill R, had been an apprentice a few years ahead of me. I overheard him tell someone he would rather have me on the job than many of my brothers. I knew I was qualified and a good worker, but sometimes just getting hired on the job is a challenge. The job was a major renovation at Ithaca College’s Garden apartments; new plumbing pipe and fixtures, as well as heating. It was a good job with good people. We had the tools and material we needed and everything ran pretty smoothly. The part that wasn’t great was that I in my infinite wisdom had decided to run for Business Agent after the death of our beloved BA, Steve White. There were 4 Southern Tier members running. Bryan A. ran together with Greg L and Brad W. I really felt Bryan was too young and inexperienced, though I knew he had a good union heart. Obviously others didn’t feel the same since he was elected with a wide margin. At the end of July, I left for an AFLCO convention in Chicago representing the Labor Assembly. My first night there I met President John Sweeny at a Students against Sweatshops fundraiser. He offered to introduce me to UA Pres Bill Hite. Well for three days I kept trying to meet him but apparently the UA contingent would stay for the morning speakers and then leave. So I left my card at his seat with a note reading, “Would like to discuss diversity within the UA.” A few minutes later I get a call from his assistant, Pat Perno. He informs me that the UA is diverse as Hell. I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. I looked over at the dozen or so old white guys sitting at the UA table and knew they didn’t reflect the diversity of the country. Women comprise less than 3% of my union and minorities only slightly more. I said it then and I say it now; the UA has a long way to go in regards to diversity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After returning home, I was unemployed again. One Sunday night in late August, I was playing euchre online which I do a lot! My playing name is Pegdafittr. Frequently UA members see my name and stop to chat. Lucky for me Gary W, from Local 23 sat at my table that night. He said they had work at Byron Nuclear Plant and told me to have my BA call. First thing Monday morning Brad called. Next thing I know I am on my way to Rockford IL with a job and a place to stay with Gary’s sister in law. Gary and became good friends and still talk to each other regularly. From there, I went to Salem NJ for another Nuke. It is always hard to try something new, but I was fairly confident and competent in my skills. I discovered that nuclear workers tend to travel in packs, so that you frequently work with people you know. With the advent of cell phones and computers, communication with home was easier. But with all my traveling, nothing makes me happier than being home in my own bed with my babies! It drove my ex-husband crazy to have to take care of the kids, although he had help from his mother, but staying home wasn’t an option. Bryan never seems to be able to keep me working. I am perpetually on the short list of members not working.